The sounds and the visions and the thoughts evoked a very primordial state of being. Bells rang and gongs vibrated. Horses hooves pounded against the earth. Wagon wheels rolled across the plains. The sun hung heavy in the western sky. A whale sang a song in the ocean. A ship blew its horn. Words echoed into a chant. I felt the profound power of the mystical mantra of om. I was left waiting outide a wall with a gate. I wasn't sure if I was waiting to get in or out.
This experience feels to have transcended experience and began to touch on memory. They seem to be memories that I am experiencing though not memories that belong to me. They feel like they belong to another. This other feels like it could be me before I was me, in another life time. I also feel that I may have picked up on the energy of those in my life. Some things feel like they connected to my husband. Another to a friend. Some belonged to me alone. Even as these thoughts, impressions, memories are not mine, they where comfortable to receive.
The breath shifted to the space in between my eyes. I am awake. I have awoken. I am awake not because I have been awoken but rather I am awake with the possibility of awareness. I have transcended how to be by looking at how to see. I have traveled but haven't moved a muscle. I am active in stillness. I am within the world when I look within.
This is truth, a version of it. I am one within. I am beginning to learn something, truely see something. Knowledge lays within not without. There is a Jean Paul Sartre quote that resonated with me in my late teens that I thought I understand then, that has stuck with me for over a decade. One of those thoughts, ideas, mantra's, suggestive suggestions you keep returning to that seem to offer something more than you have. The quote is "To think new thoughts you must break the bones in your head." I always saw the this as a form of action, a call to set energy in motion. To do, to experience, to destroy. I see it differently now but just as profoundly- bones are broken not by going without but within. Bones are broken by stillness of the body and expansion of the brain and activation of the 3rd eye.
This experience speaks to me about how I receive information. I see things visually and know things intuitively. Sounds can serve as a gateway for me. Listening to chanting and bells is always a powerful experience for me. It connects me to something more than myself and stirs a recognition of the primordial. Sound as a intuitive tool seems especially fitting for me given the hearing loss I suffer. One sense is dulled to heighten the other. I have always believed in a basic rule of nature and the universe- to get you must give. I think seeing and understanding my hearing loss in this way is how I begin to make peace with it. I lost one sense and picked up another. Today the intuition and the paranormal experiences feels like a gift. Part of a larger path and profound experience. Today I am thankful. Today I feel alive and present in possibility. Today I have no fear. Today I am receptive and giving.
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